from ScarlettO
(30-somethingfemale)
"Telling her straight out how you feel" is communication. Telling her what to do, and what will be the consequences for a certain action, is setting an ultimatum. In other words, an ultimatum includes, by definition, some variation of the concept "do ______ or else I'll ______."..
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If the emotional turmoil of the relationship is too much for you, by all means tell the girl. She deserves to know, and perhaps the implications will be enough motivation for her to get her poop in a pile. Or perhaps this just isn't the right time for you two to be together, in which case there's no point in remaining quiet about your misgivings. ..
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Be kind -- she's clearly feeling a little fragile and confused these days -- and leave the door to a common future open, or at least ajar. She will appreciate the gesture even if it doesn't work out for the two of you...
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