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from watcha (20-somethingmale)6 answers
One of my childhood fears was that my parents would smoke cigarettes behind my back even though I've never seen them smoke. I can't help how I feel about smoking or addictions in general in regards to people I like. The girl I love is a smoker and it drives me crazy. At the end of a day I remember every cigarette she's been smoking. Hearing the sound of the lighter makes my heart beat faster, 2-3 cigarettes and a coffee to start the morning - it's some kind of ritual for her, for me it's reason enough to get moody and distracted. It stresses me out... more then school, my studies or work ever did.....The better I know her, the more I love her, the more of my plans and dreams have to do with her the more I worry about her addiction and my reaction to it. I usually base decisions on logical thinking. Define the problem, search a solution. But in this case I'm at a loss because I don't understand my "feelings" about it. And because the obvious solution is out of my reach.....What can I do? Talk to her. Oh, I did... we had some of our best dramatic moments about the very topic. She says she doesn't plan to smoke forever. That she intends to stop in the next couple of years anyway. That her smoking isn't the only problem but also my reaction to it and that I knew she was a smoker even when we first met. That it wouldn't work in the long run if she stopped if I blackmail or bribe her to do it. Well... all that makes sense, right? There's only one way that will work - the insight that she'll be better off without it. But what can I do now?....I considered to start smoking myself and I can't even say why I think that would help - I just feel like it would. We make some other strange compromises already. Like smoking weed together. A joint in Europe consists usually of weed mixed with tobacco. For some reason I don't mind that. Seems to run in a different category, like having a couple of beers with friends doesn't make me worry about alcoholism. I don't make much sense, eh? But that insight doesn't help me either.....
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