Here's that question

You've got that right...I'm not settling one bit with my current boyfriend. I did settle in my past relationship and finally ended it. But some of my friends who are single now in their 40s are so afraid of merely settling because they had such bad ones before that they are afraid of going past a few dates with anyone. It's funny when I think about it, most of the people I know who are couples, seem very happy and work out their differences. Other friends who are divorced or never married, are very single and some are afraid of dating. My good friend finally left her toxic marriage and is single and dating a new bf now. Nope... can't think of anyone off hand...

Oh definitely...One of my best friends, who just graduated from college with a good degree and is on her way to a good career while getting her Master's degree, is with a guy who can barely hold down a regular job, still lives with his mother (he is older than she is), and she has to drive 2 hours to see him every weekend because he doesn't have a car and won't go to her parent's place...He has no ambition to further himself careerwise or personally, treats her badly, and has gotten almost violent with her on some occasions...And better yet, he wants to have a baby with her (they are nowhere near living together or getting married/engaged)!!..She's afraid that he'll poke a hole in the condoms! He's extremely immature...It's sad to see...She says he's a good guy and she loves him, but I don't know if she truly does or if she just doesn't want to be alone...I've tried to set her up and be honest with her about whether she sees this relationship going anywhere. We'll see what happens...

I am not sure most people settle, it is just that they are able to look past things they always said they would not date. As long as they are not significantly less than what you deserve and it is just minor things like different hobbies or something it is not an issue...But if you do want to talk about settling, you can look at one of my best friends...She is dating the guy with every trait she would never date...He drinks a lot, pops pills, is a chronic pot smoker/seller, has gotten violent towards his mother,..hates her friends,..has cheated on her, the list goes on but pretty much she is settling for way less than she deserves...She is in college and he is almost 20, but is still in high school and hangs otu with kids way younger than him...

"Something is better than nothing." While it is not true, and the enlightened realize that it's not true, many of us still harbor a sneaking suspicion that it might have some truth in it. Others cling to a diehard belief in its validity. That's definitely how it feels when we're in the midst of something, relationship-wise, and looking out at the vast chasm of nothingness that would greet us were we to leave. It's very hard to take that plunge into the abyss, especially when the status quo is so familiar -- even if it's unpleasantly familiar, even if its familiarity means knowing when the next blow is coming or how the next fight will feel. it's hard to watch people in those relationships, harder still to be in them. But the hardest of all is to have the faith and courage to step off the cliff and let ourselves fall, without knowing whether or not we'll eventually be caught again...

I've always highly doubted there is one single solitary Mr. Right that is meant to be mine and is everything I want. As long as you're happy, what is "settling"? Maybe this is too simplistic. People are just people...